Want Curly Fries With That?

#3 is the conclusion of the Ethical Ellis story.
Ethical Ellis Part Deux
01.26.05 (11:51 am)
We last left our hero (or suspect if you will) on the wrong side of the Law. How was I going to break this to my parents? It's a small town and when things like this go down the gossip spreads quicker than Britney Spears's first marriage. By the time I had everything settled back at my dorm room I was already stressed more than ever before. I don't think I had ever been so stressed and frightened since that time I was about 5 years old and got stuck in the mud in my grandparents' garden. I was out there for an hour screaming for help but no one ever came to help me. Or maybe it was the time during my high school freshman year when some friends and I got busted in a test cheat sheet racket. But that's another story for another time. As I was reliving those past scary moments the phone rang. It was my dad. He was asking if I got back to school safely and making small talk. I had this deep down feeling in my gut that he already knew what happened and was just waiting for me to admit it. The longer we talked the more and more I felt like I was living The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe "TRUE! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why WILL you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses, not destroyed, not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How then am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily, how calmly, I can tell you the whole story." "Dad, I got into a little trouble this morning before I left." (Yeah, I hadn't chopped up someone and buried them under the floor but for drama's sake just humor me).....turns out he hadn't heard about it yet so I spilled the beans. He said he was very disappointed in me and that I would have to get a job to pay the fine. J-J-J-JOB?!?!? So much for focusing on just my classes!


So I told you ALL of that to tell you THIS: I got a part time job at the local Dairy Queen
as a Culinary Artist. Ok, I flipped mini-burgers and burned french fries. I hated the job. HATED? No....Loathed...Resented....I got so sick of fast food that I went on a strict diet and lost nearly 20 pounds that spring. I managed most of my classes. I think I failed whatever math I was taking, but that was true for most math classes during my college career. But that one wrong decision I made that January morning had a much deeper and longer lasting effect on my life and who I am today. I promised myself I would never go back to THAT kind of job again. I was miserable everyday there. To this day Dairy Queen is still the topic of many jokes about me with a few of my old friends. During my short Christmas vacation this winter my brother and I drove by that place where it all happened. It was the first time I remember going by there in 10 years. I looked down into the woods and the creek and wondered if my decoys were still out there somewhere....waiting for me to return. I couldn't believe it had been 10 years but I could still feel how cold my feet were......I was wearing 2 left boots!!!!! It's funny now when I tell people about it, but I still regret being so stupid.

William O'Rourke once said "Regret is an odd emotion because it comes only upon reflection. Regret lacks immediacy, and so its power seldom influences events when it could do some good."

In other words; "Regret is always a day late and a dollar short"